Posted under Teuch's Musings on March 23, 2012 by Christina
Dear Women of the Wedding Party,
This month I was inspired to pen a letter to you lovely ladies after watching the hilarious romp Bridesmaids. I’ve helped to create so many weddings over my tenure with David Beahm and I’ve even been in a few wedding parties myself in the last few years. So I’ve pretty much seen it all – and while Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy never made it to any of those celebrations – I’ve witnessed both wondrously magical and painfully inappropriate interactions on the part of Brides and Bridesmaids. Therefore, I’d like to suggest a few of my rules for you ladies to follow when you are cast as a major player in a wedding.
Brides, I’d like to start off here with both a reminder and a validation: YOU are the star of the show; it’s the day you’ve been waiting for; dreaming of; planning – it’s yours. However, like any celebrity, it’s only appropriate for you to treat those around you with grace and civility; that includes your bridesmaids. Remember that while your wedding is the center of your universe – it is not the center of everyone else’s. The lives of your friends continue to move along with victories and tribulations. About two years ago my dear friend Ellie was getting married and we would get together for dinner or drinks every month or two. Even though she’d have lots of questions and updates for me, each time I’d see her she’d make a point to stop mid-conversation and say, “ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! What’s going on with you???” Bravo Ellie.
Brides also remember that your bridesmaids may not have your body, aesthetics, or your pocket book. I know there are loads of theories on dressing your bridesmaids: all one dress, different dresses/one color, same dress/different colors. But all those theories ignore one important fact – you owe it to every single one of those girls to make sure that what you put them in for your day makes them feel as beautiful as you (and won’t put them into debt along the way). I’ll use Ellie again as example of how to do it right. When Ellie was choosing her bridesmaids’ dresses she leaned toward a retailer that only produced relatively pricey dresses in a relatively limited range of sizes. Several girls struggled with both fit and cost. But instead of getting frustrated, with all the grace of a loving friend, Ellie up and changed designers, selected options for every price range, and made sure that each and every one of her girls loved what we had on that evening. Again, I’ve got to give Ellie some major kudos.
Bridesmaids, on the flip side, you are the unsung heroes of a wedding. You wipe tears, plan showers, tie ribbons on damn near everything, and most importantly stand there for hours (in heels) for your friends. In the months leading up to your friend’s big day you will be kept abreast of plans; you will be informed of major decisions; and you will watch the day come together. However, just because your friend is sharing her ideas with you – it does not mean she is seeking your approval. Keep your feelings private unless they are specifically requested. Your friend has about a gazillion opinions and demands being thrown at her (from his family, to her family, the list goes on and on). Adding your two cents to the mix does not help, in fact in can even strain your relationship at the time when your friend needs you the most.
Bridesmaids, the larger point is that alas, you are NOT the star of the show. It does not matter if you’ve been unlucky in love. It does not matter if you thought you should be going down the aisle first. It does not matter if you feel bloated and hate your up-do. Ladies, this is the time, more than any other, to act like ladies. Step aside and give your friend the spotlight. She’s earned it, hasn’t she? It should be remembered that anger and jealousy are not pretty colors on anyone. Do not make a snarky speech; do not show up late; do not get toasted and make a fool of yourself. Composure, elegance, and joy – this should be your battle cry!
In conclusion, Brides & Bridesmaids, I must implore you to remember one final thing: before all this talk of lace, sugar flowers, and seating assignments; you were friends. People will move away, babies will come along, and lives will move gaily forward. But just because the wedding day is over, it doesn’t mean your friendship is too. And that friendship, my ladies, means way more than one night in a white gown or a bridesmaid’s dress.
Love,
A Bridesmaid.
photographer credit: Christopher Lane
Posted under Teuch's Musings on January 12, 2012 by Christina
Continuing my earlier diatribe on all things fabulous – this week I wanted to take a moment to speak about clothing. Yes, there have been spells when I have, myself, been a bit of a fashion car crash. There was that time in grammar school when I believed that oversized acid-washed overalls were super cute (but only when one shoulder strap hung down). And then there were four years during my musical theater training when I wanted to dress like a character from A Chorus Line: cue leotards, loose hippie skirts, ripped tights and ballet-wrap sweaters. Oh what a vision I was – but I was FAR from fabulous.
While my sense of style has certainly evolved from younger days, and my day to day uniform has finally shifted away from legwarmers, I learned an important style lesson this year: sometimes fabulous cannot be purchased at your local department store (no matter how high-end it is). The problem was complex: more frequently I was being invited to black-tie affairs as the date of one Mr. David Beahm and I had to hold my own next to this dashing man. While I had many a cocktail dress that I was able to dress up with a set of huge pearls from Mikimoto – those pearls a black-tie dress did not make. I searched high and low in every store for a formal gown that could fit and flatter this body of mine. No dice. More often than not I was spilling out of every gown I gave a whirl or was swimming in a dress that was clearly made for one of those 5’10” sidewalk stunners, clumsily kicking fabric out from under my feet.
I was ready to give up until I met the wonderful owner of The Stylish Bride: Ms. Julie Sabatino. Julie is a stylist to some of the most elegant brides that walk down the aisle – New York and the world round. This woman looked like me; dressed how I dreamed I could; and she totally “got it”. While complaining about my black-tie troubles she said, “Well, my dear, I do believe it’s time you had a dress made – and I know just the men to do it!”
The next week Julie was holding my sweaty palm as we made our way up the elevator in a fashion district building and into the marshmallow-hued office of the brothers Nato, the owners of Fancy NYC. It was like I died and went to fashion heaven – as I wandered around the intimate studio I kept wondering when the cast of Mad Men was going to pop out from amongst the vintage-inspired designs. Except there were no moth-eaten holes and brittle fabric that you find on dresses in vintage shops – everything here was brand new and gorgeous! Ivory kid leather gloves, glittering paste jewels, and bird-cage veils filled glistening glass cabinets. Satin-faced silk organza fluttered all around me. And then I met my boys: Gregory and Stephen – two dashing Italians from New York who, as children, spent their winters playing in their mother’s McCall’s patterns instead of the snow. It was a match made in mid-century heaven.
So what does this all have to do with weddings? It’s simple. While I wasn’t in the market for a bridal gown, the act of being measured; having fabrics thrown across me; and generally fawned-over is something every woman deserves. The process that transpired over the coming months was one that was both enthralling and gratifying. My dress started to become an extension of my personality and my history (as your wedding gown should become an extension of you). The boys added a delicious horsehair crinoline that made my waist look deceptively wasp thin (and spoke to my flirtatious personality). And in a stroke of genius that brought tears to my eyes, Stephen and Gregory incorporated French cuffs on the sleeves so that I could wear my late father’s tuxedo cufflinks with the gown. Every time I’d go in for a fitting and slip in the white muslin croquis, my excitement grew and I felt a little more beautiful.
Finally the day arrived where my beautiful sapphire gown emerged like an indigo butterfly from the chrysalis of its white garment bag – and I was about to make my own transformation into a black-tie beauty. I completed the look with a pair of Kate Spade shoes, my mother’s beaded vintage clutch and a diamante necklace and the make-over was complete. I think you’ll agree – end product is to-die-for.
Photo by Joanna Wilson Photography
Posted under Teuch's Musings on December 13, 2011 by Christina
I don’t think it’s any secret to db fans; I’m addicted to beauty. I’ve managed to build a career around it: beautiful flowers, beautiful gowns, beautiful diamonds, beautiful places, and beautiful people. But I have an even bigger addiction to feeling beautiful, and darn-it, sometimes that’s tough in the big city for a 5’4” Rubenesque chick. As I write this blog – I know there are other women out there who feel the same way: occasionally looking around at the 5’10” svelte, sidewalk stunners and wondering, “how in the hell did I miss the sign-up sheet for those genetics?”
The exact same fears of inadequacy can riddle a Bride approaching her wedding day. You want to feel like you are at your most beautiful and with a few well-chosen, signature style decisions; you too can walk into a Ballroom alongside a whole gaggle of “sidewalk stunners” and manage to end the night feeling like the most beautiful woman in the room. It’s actually pretty simple really, but you must begin by committing to memory one of my favorite sayings. I fail to remember the person it is attributed to or the exact verbiage – but it goes something like this: “I was never a great beauty – but I had a look and that look was MINE.”
You must set about creating a black-tie cap-a-pie that is yours and yours alone. Just what does mine consist of? For Teuch the perennial must-haves are back-seam stockings, SPANX, perfectly manicured fingernails, a signature perfume, a few exceedingly well-made dresses and one fabulously puffy crinoline. In my next blog post I will be discussing the great fun of having a piece of clothing made just for you. However, right now I want to share my three top secrets with you for feeling your absolute best on your wedding day… and not one of them has to do with the dress – go figure!
- Lashes honey, lashes. I know many of you get all squeamish and spastic when a makeup artist approaches you with a pair of tweezers, some glue and a couple of strips of feathery lashes. But hear me out girls: having the lightness of a butterfly rest atop your eyelids can make a lady feel like a lady. And there is no better flirt in the world than a sultry stare from underneath a set of long dark lashes. So go out, buy a fabulous pair of Shu Uemuras and start working on applying them yourself – fabulous takes a little bit of practice.
- Sky high heels. Yes, yes, yes, I’ve heard all the stories – high heels are a sexist invention created by a man to make women feel delicate and fragile. They cause irreparable damage your feet and back. I say PHOOEY. I say a pair of sky heels makes me feel like a style-monster, brave, and undefeatable. I say a pair of heels is the best piece of armor a woman can have. I say Christian Louboutin is the only thing to wear on your feet for your wedding day. I say fabulous takes a little bit of pain.
- Fascinators. No, I am not suggesting you whip out Princess Beatrice’s ribbon hat for your nuptials, but I am proposing that sometimes a flawless fascinator with bird-cage netting trumps a veil, especially if it is one from BHLDN. And I know what you are saying to yourself – I’m not nearly cool enough to pull off a fascinator but here’s the secret: YOU ARE if you say you are. Just last weekend I had a bride who wore the most wonderful, whimsical fascinator and I screamed in delight when she appeared! Sometimes fabulous takes a little bit of brave drama.
So while we’d all like to think that it’s the old adage “Something old, something new…” makes for a successful marriage – I’d like to suggest a new one for you to consider. “Something bold, nothing drab, something sexy and everything FAB!”
Photography courtesy of Ira Lippke Studios
Dear Women of the Wedding Party,